Thursday, September 24, 2009

How to "Half Ass" Curtains

This is how I made my new bedroom curtains...and this is also why I was a complete failure in my previous sewing incarnation as a custom window treatment maker....I'm not good at "precise"...

So, my thinking while I was measuring my window was this: from the top of the window casing to the bottom of the window sill is 60 inches...add 4 inches for the top header and rod casing and 4 inches for a 2 inch double hem and you get 68 inches. Two panels, 68 inches long, simple! EXCEPT, I only have one 50 inch by 57 ish inch length of the fabric I love and want to use...gorgeous fabric, buttery yellow with what looks like hand painted watercolor flowers and beautiful embroidered leaves, but I digress...back to my not enough fabric...not a problem ,I think, I have more white muslin...I will add lengths of the muslin to the sides and to the bottom to kind of picture frame the gorgeous fabric (I could add a strip of it to the top to REALLY frame it but I am too lazy for that, so three sides will have to do).
Next, put the baby down for her nap and then go downstairs and lay the fabric out and start cutting...cut off the extra bits on the side to make the piece kind of even and then cut it down the middle to make two 25 ish by 57 ish panels (and the only way I could get the 57 inch length was to put the fabric on its side so technically all the flowers are sideways, but i don't think it's too big a deal...hopefully no one will stare at them long enough to notice).
Fold the 90 inch wide muslin in fourths lay it on the floor and lay the flower fabric panels over it, I'm thinking that each curtain will be comprised of two 25 inch muslin panels and one 25 inch flower panel...which I realize as soon as I cut the fabric and there is no going back, that this will not only make each panel 75 inches wide (way to much for a small window) but doesn't leave me enough muslin left over to make the bottom panels. But, not to worry, I figure I will just split one of the muslin panels down the middle, sew to each side of the flower fabric, making each panel 50 inches wide and use the left over panels for the this...
Now, this is where I get really lazy.. at this point I have no idea how long these panels are, because I am having trouble adding 57 and 25 in my head (I have lost many brain cells due to childbirth, age, wine....)and I can't find my tape measure to find out, but I am pretty sure they are longer than windowsill length. In fact, I am reasonably certain that they are way too long...but, then I remember, I just saw some stupid ad for Cindy Crawford's new home decor line and in it she said you should have three square pillows at the head of your bed AND your curtains should puddle on the floor...BINGO! This works for me! Especially since I am too lazy to go upstairs and remeasure the window and no way in hell am I going to risk waking up the baby while doing so, I just carry on...hem the edges, make the heading, hem the bottom and I'm done! Now, mind you, nothing is even on these curtains, not a square edges to be seen...but they're supposed to be gathered and full and who cares?...right?!

I do want to add a disclaimer at this point for any of my sewing students: I do know how to make curtains properly and will teach you the correct way, do as I say, not as I do. You can go on to half ass your own curtains later.

So, the baby woke up, rolled around on the curtains (I had to put this photo in...look at those FEET!)
And then I hung the curtains...and sadly, I do not live up to Ms. Crawford's standards (in ANY way shape or form) some fluke the curtains do not puddle, but they do hang pretty close to the floor , so there! And they're nice...the sun shining through the flower fabric looks kind of like stained glass and the white muslin keeps the whole thing looking airy and breezy, and best of all, they block out "The VIEW". So there you have up: "sewing" with a glue gun ;)

1 comment:

  1. They are very 'very' good and your running commentary had me giggling from start to finish!

    take care,

    Nina x